So yeah, the wedding/honeymoon combo cost money.
Imagine that.
After rent, we had enough to cover groceries and little else.
But we still had a bunch of gift cards to Macy's, Crate & Barrel, and Bed, Bath & Beyond.
So we went on a shopping spree.
We got towels!
And an air mattress!
And a spatula!
We got a clock!
And an air humidifier!
And a pastry masher!
Lauren got a big chef knife!
And I got a Michael Kors designer coat!
Being poor and buying lots of merchandise.
It was the most American we had ever felt.
Back at home it was a mess.
Boxes and bubble wrap everywhere.
The brutal reality of a prize wonderland.
Pat & Vanna never tell you about this shit, man.
I did my best to help Lauren organize.
But I had to be up early.
Tijuana Hercules would begin a week long tour of The South in the morning.
So we stacked all the empty boxes in front of the back door to create a fire trap.
Just like they do in America.
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